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Heh, The Onion rules. UN Orders Wonka To Submit To Chocolate-Factory Inspections
"The world can no longer turn a blind eye to Wonka's deception and misdirection," Rumsfeld said. "Without full inspections, there's no earthly way of knowing which direction Wonka's going. Not a speck of light is showing, so the danger must be growing. And he's certainly not showing any signs that he is slowing. Are the fires of Hell a-glowing? Is the grisly reaper mowing? Who can provide the world with the answer to these pressing questions?"

"The candy man can," Rumsfeld added grimly.

Ahhh...classic :)

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I'm fuckin' sick and tired of that Wonka.

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